When I Suffered, You Did Nothing

When I Suffered, You Did Nothing 

By Rebecca Longtin

You said the loving words 
that you thought I wanted to hear 
despite the fact 
that you didn’t believe them to be true. 

You even dreamed the dreams, 
made the plans, 
and invested the money 
as if we had a future together. 

You watched me 
adapt, bend, and twist 
to meet your ever changing needs 
knowing it would never be enough 

and I somehow missed 
the fact that you weren’t doing the same. 
You didn’t see your role. 
You didn’t want to. 

You stayed silent through it all 
with one foot out the door, 
as you watched me pour myself 
into you and our marriage. 

And then, when you decided you had enough 
you turned the finger on me. 
You pointed out my flaws. 
You blamed me for my reactions. 

You kept your explanations 
vague and varied enough, 
your examples reaching back more than a decade. 
The confusion on my face reflected so clearly. 

With distorted negative perceptions, 
you blamed me for your insecurities 
and you blamed me for my strengths. 
You still refused to see your role. 

You watched my tears fall. 
You saw the pain and confusion in my eyes. 
You witnessed the weight loss and sleepiness nights 
and you did nothing to ease my suffering. 

You heard me plea for clarity. 
You saw my desperation for answers. 
Yet you openly admitted that you had not even bothered 
to work through those answers with your therapist. 

You walked away as if you had never loved me. 
as if you had never cared about me. 
You acted like what we once had 
never had existed.